Critical Investigation Feedback

Type-up

WWW:

- Some good analysis and a fair amount of research included

- Decent bibliography (but lacks 10 books)

- Effective use of footnotes

EBI:

- Substantiate your claims with references (see p.1)

- More references, especially academic on p.1

- Shorter paragraphs

- More on wider context i.e. gun empire in USA

- Explain all theorists (e.g. moral panics) with references to sources/quotes

Other comments:

Page 2;

www- good use of quote references and use of information/theory.

ebi- more detail in depth of Ledger and more terminology

Page 3;

www- clear investigation which explores the topic clearly with research

ebi- use more theorists + mention theorists names

Page 4;

www- more about MIGRAIN which is good, a lot of close textual analysis

ebi- not much to say about SHEP

Page 5;

www- you mentioned the effects of post 9/11

ebi- perhaps mention post modernism in relation to this and poplar culture

Page 6;

www- good knowledge of the topic and relevant information

ebi- can include a lot of issues and debates and how they've influenced change in superhero films

Bibliography;

www- good amount of research and sources are relevant to the issue of your critical investigation

ebi- need tp check the format of the bibliography (punctuation, titles, authors are missing).


What I plan to change in my second draft:

• Fix punctuation errors on p.1 and throughout the essay
• Make the bibliography layout consistent i.e brackets, initials etc
• Include wider contextual analysis e.g. gun crime in America
• Include references to theories such as Moral Panics and briefly explain what they are (embedding them)
• Include ideally more books mentioned throughout the essay